QUARREL HIM/HER FOR THAT HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP

         YOU LOVE HIM OR HER YOU WILL QUARREL!

 i just attended singles meeting  few days ago the topic of the day was about RELATIONSHIP.

Most of the relationship are full of disagreement. That cool according to one of relationship Coach. i was just wondering if u love each other why Quarrel aah? Personally i found myself quarreling  sometimes with my boyfriend to an extent of almost quitting.  But relax dear ones it healthy to disagree to agree in a relationship.The key issue forgive each other and forget Forever.

The Councillor  told  us You don’t know him or her until there is a quarrel. A quarrel tests character. Knowledge grows from disagreement. Love is a deeper knowledge of your partner. It is not just the romantic feeling, it is the feeling of tolerance, the feeling of acceptance and understanding.

A quarrel reveals weakness. It displays maturity it  creates a platform for the woman to submit and the man to show love.Don’t run away from confrontation. A confrontation will give you revelation. To walk away or to continue becomes clearer. Too much quarrel that ends with physical abuse is a danger sign. It is saying , ‘Quit!’ 

A quarrel creates room for patience. And patience is a virtue that can sustain any relationship.I  was just reading a story of  a couple who were headily over heels in love with each other thy loved each other so much until the man couldn't wait any longer but to engage his girlfriend  and speedily set a date for their big wedding.
The couple decided to go to the pastor for counseling and a piece of advice . They were preparing for marriage. The Pastor asked, “How are things going?”
“Great”, they said enthusiastically.
“Really?” the pastor asked.
“Yes”, the couple chorused.
“Have you had any quarrel? Any disagreement?”

The woman responded, “No o. It has been wonderful all the way”. And both stared at each other with a smile.

The pastor nodded his head. “No ,that is not good at all. I can’t wed you both”
“Why?” the lady asked.

“Go and have a quarrel. Disagree on something. Hurt yourself and see how much you can forgive yourselves. See how you can disagree to agree. Your courtship is too good to be true”.

The fight is important. It test your compatibility. But you must fight fair. I am not talking about throwing insults at each other or physical assault. I am talking about disagreements.

Marriage is not for two perfect people. It is for two imperfect people who seek to make their marriage perfect. They work hard to make sure that they are together. They have a deep understanding for each other because they realize that they are both fragile, human. And so they look up to God.

The test of your compatibility is after the quarrel. It is your capacity to forgive each other that determines how compatible you both are. Strong marriages/Relationship  are built on forgiveness. The Press once asked Bill Graham’s wife , Ruth Graham , how she had been able to stay with her husband for 60 years. She gave a smile and said, “I have learnt to forgive Bill” .

You see, there will be many offenses in your marriage/Relationship . Does forgiveness for him/her come easily, naturally? Please hear me. Forgiveness is not a feeling, it is something we must do.

 I understand that. Forgiveness is a product of faith acting without feelings. However, when it comes to compatibility and marriage, your love for him/her should be strong enough to make forgiveness easier.

Quarrel is an important test in compatibility. Again remember that thou shall not quarrel every day every  now quarrel should help you know when it is time to call it quit or not.

How angry can he/she be? Can you bear it? A quarrel will test your relationship. In fact, all relationships whether in courtship or marriage will be tested by quarrel.   Don’t marry a man who beats you. If he beats you the first time, he will beat you again and again; his promises are a lie. 

Evelyne):-

ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP OOH NO!!!..

Just the other day I was listening to a  morning show on one of the local station ,the topic of the day was about “ abusive Relationship”. I don’t listen to this show  but this one just attracted my attention.

One of the callers just called in to contribute to the motion  and the information or do I call Confession that he made just left my mouth wide open.

The man who called in I thought he is just in his middle age, made a confession that I  have never forgotten up to date .He  had the audacity to call on a national FM station and confess to the entire  world what he had  done to his woman so that she can stay with him (SHM).

The man said that when he started dating his girlfriend  she was very pretty and he feared that she might cheat on him.

He just raised some issues with her one day and on the  middle of their argument, he picked a fork and destroyed her beautiful face of course the mission was complete (mssshew). This what we call total inhuman and extremely shocking.

The man is still confessing OMG.He even said that he is now married to this lady whom she destroyed her life,career,self esteem and everything in her was just destroyed by this man.
The question I was just asking myself as  I thought about writing this article was why should someone  stay in abusive relationship. 

I just  found that most people would rather die in that marriage/relationship for fear of what their friends may say about them.

Common lady!!! who would choose to die in that mad and abusive  relationship than step out of it,my advice relationship is meant for two people and the third party it does’t became a relationship anymore  but that a  multitude (hehehe) .Give all your best to that relationship and if it fails just step aside.

I have just seen many people staying in abusive relationship thinking that their partners will change from their behaviours seriously Ladies  a man who hits you once definitely he will get a reason to beat you second ,third time and forever.


For the bible says spare a rod spoil the child (prov 13:24) the bible didn’t say spare  a rod spoil a wife .Men who hit their girlfriend /wives style up (smh) ladies just know that a man wants you, nothing can keep him away. If he doesn’t want you, nothing can make him stay.

Stop making excuses for a man and his behaviours that he loves me so much  and I will try to change him for a better person.

Allow your spirit to save you from heartache. Stop trying to change yourselves for a relationship that’s not meant to be. Slower is better. Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy. 

If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve then heck no, you can’t  “be friends.” A friend wouldn’t mistreat a friend. Don’t settle. If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is. Don’t stay because you think “it will get better.” 

You’ll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better. The only person you can control in a relationship is you. 

Its God intention  for us to live happy and enjoy life which include of that relationship. Don’t settle for anything that is not making you happy. Ladies our men should love us the way Christ love the church .

He have to make you feel like a queen or princess in that relationship, ladies for  us to be treated the rightful by our men we MUST love our men and respect then period!!! for us to get that beautiful  relationship.


EVELYNE)

ATTITUDE

Attitude Attitude so what is attitude? From goggle attitude is  an expression of favor or disfavor toward a person, place, thing,  event.

Today just want to talk about attitude of course there is positive attitude and negative.

A couple of days I have  been asking myself a lots of queries  why some people succeed in life and others are just there. I know  you understand what I mean.  I just understood that what differentiates the two groups is the attitude in life.

Life is not easy, but it’s worth it.  If you expect it to be, you will perpetually disappoint yourself. 
Bad Attitude is  like a flat tyre you cant go anywhere with until you change it mmmh!! Achieving anything worthwhile in life takes time and effort

You must align your efforts with your goals and then start every day ready to run farther than you did yesterday and fight harder than you ever have before.

Persistence and positive attitude  is the single most common characteristic of high achievers.  They simply refuse to give up and refuse also to look life on the lower side.  The longer you hang in there, the greater the chance that something will happen in your favor.

The only thing you can absolutely control in life is how you react to things out of your control, and there’s a lot you can’t control.  The better you adapt to this reality, the more powerful your highs will be, and the more quickly you’ll be able to bounce back from the lows.  

Put most simply: Living a happy, fulfilling life means being in a state of complete acceptance of all that is, right here, right now and always keeping the right attitude.

Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.”

Evelyne):

FOLLOW YOUR HEART):-

Sometimes I watch people as they go to work or go about their daily lives. You can see it in someone’s face, eyes and body posture whether or not they are following their heart and doing what they love.Many people are  forced by circumstance.peer pressure and even families  to do stuff that they don't like.e.g careers etc

I believe it is time for each of us to wake up and connect with what we really want. And then we need to act on it. We need to take risks and have the courage to move towards our goals fearlessly with 100% commitment. 

In order to do this, we must be willing to be different, to do things differently and to challenge the expectations that others hold of us. When you begin to follow your heart, you must realize that anything that is not in line with your heart’s calling will start to fall away.

If nothing in this post resonates with you and you are happy in your life, then that is ok. Or maybe you are already living a heart driven life, and if so, then that is awesome. 

But if reading this stirs something inside of you, births new dreams and creates feelings inside your heart, then you know it is time to listen. 

A life of following your heart may be challenging, but the rewards you will receive will be enough to make it all worth it.

you have to learn to follow your heart. You can’t let other people pressure you into being something that you’re not. 

If you want God’s favor in your life, you must be the person 

He made you to be, not the person your boss wants you to be, not even the person your parents or your husband wants you to be. You can’t let outside expectations keep you from following your own heart.